How to Know If You Have the Right People in the Right Seats, And How to Give Them the Language to Tell You

TL;DR

• Every leader carries baggage into people conversations. Some default to task-and-results mode. Others default to friend-and-cheerleader mode. Both have real strengths, and both lead to dysfunction without a system to bridge the gap.
• Coaching Conversations are that bridge. A quarterly practice built on the Healthy F.I.T. framework that holds values alignment and performance together in one honest, two-way dialogue.
• This isn’t a top-down evaluation. It gives team members the language, space, and invitation to assess what they need from their work, whether that’s in their current role or somewhere else.
• Great intentions aren’t enough. Without a system, people conversations get lost in the shuffle. Healthy F.I.T. turns caring about your people into a repeatable practice that happens every 90 days.
• Download the free Healthy F.I.T. guide to start using this framework with your leadership team today.

In the course of leading teams and supporting hundreds of leaders over the years, I’ve noticed something. Every person in a leadership role carries one of two types of baggage into the way they manage people. And I do mean every person, myself included.

Neither type is bad. Both come from real strengths. But without a system to balance them, both lead to the same place: dysfunction. And the people on your team pay the price.

The Two Types of Leadership Baggage (And Why Both Need a System)

The Producer

The first type is the leader who is there to manage people, their tasks, their results, and drive to the bottom line. This person is a producer and they expect production. If they text you, call you, or meet with you, it’s focused, brief, task-oriented, and direct. It’s about getting things done.

All good things, by the way. Organizations need people who can drive results and hold a high bar. But when this is the only mode a leader operates in, here’s what happens:

• People start to feel like cogs in a machine. Every conversation is about output, never about them. They perform, but they don’t feel seen.
• Problems stay hidden until they’re crises. Team members don’t bring up struggles early because every interaction is transactional. By the time the leader finds out someone is disengaged, the resignation letter is already drafted.
• You build a culture of compliance, not commitment. People hit their numbers because they have to, not because they’re invested. Discretionary effort disappears. Innovation dries up. Your best people, the ones with options, leave first.
• Trust stays shallow. It’s built on results, not relationship. The moment results dip, even for good reasons, there’s no relational foundation to navigate the hard conversation.

The Friend

The second type is the leader who shows up more like a friend, confidant, cheerleader, and mentor. Also good things. They see you. They know you. They ask about you and your family. They share and listen to personal stories. They remember your birthday, your wedding anniversary, and the fact that you’re allergic to pickles. You feel their care.

But when care isn’t paired with clarity, here’s what happens:

• Standards are unclear or inconsistently enforced. People aren’t sure what “good” looks like because feedback is vague or overly positive. They feel supported, but they don’t know where they stand.
• Hard conversations get avoided. The leader doesn’t want to hurt the relationship, so underperformance goes unaddressed. What starts as grace becomes a pattern, and the whole team feels it.
• High performers get frustrated. They watch low performers get the same warmth and none of the accountability. Over time, the people doing their best work feel like it doesn’t actually matter.
• People feel cared for but not challenged. They like the leader, but they may not fully respect the leadership. And they’re not growing, because growth requires honest feedback, not just encouragement.

I’m sure if you’re like me, you lean one way or the other here. And maybe you’ve seen the downside of that. The producer who wonders why people keep leaving. The friend who wonders why the team isn’t hitting its goals. Both care about their people. Both are leading with real strengths. And both end up in the same place when they don’t have a system: falling back into what they know, and missing what their people actually need.

As organizational psychologist Adam Grant puts it: wouldn’t we rather have stay interviews than exit interviews? Most leaders, whether they’re producers or friends, would say yes in a heartbeat. The problem isn’t intention. The problem is that without a structure, these conversations either never happen or happen in a way that only plays to the leader’s natural strength. The producer checks the KPIs. The friend checks in on feelings. Neither gets the full picture.

Coaching Conversations: A Bridge That Feels Authentic for Both Types

There has to be a bridge, something that feels authentic to who you are as a leader while ensuring you’re covering what your people actually need. Coaching Conversations are our answer. They’re built on our Healthy F.I.T. framework and designed to solve for the three things that make people conversations fall apart:

• A regular cadence, so it actually happens. Every 90 days, on the calendar, non-negotiable. Not when things slow down. Not when the quarter is going well. Every quarter, because your people deserve the same consistency you give your financial reviews. The system removes the guesswork of “when should I have this conversation?” The answer is always: this quarter.
• A balanced conversation, so you understand them and the work they’re doing. The producer doesn’t have to become a therapist. The friend doesn’t have to become a drill sergeant. The structure of a Coaching Conversation naturally holds both: who is this person, what do they need, and how are they performing? You don’t have to choose between care and clarity. The framework gives you both.
• A values + fit conversation that’s a two-way street. This isn’t a leader grading an employee. Both the leader and the team member assess values alignment and role F.I.T. independently, then sit down and compare notes. The team member brings their own self-assessment. They’ve reflected. They’ve named what’s working and what isn’t. That changes everything, because now it’s not a performance review, it’s a shared conversation about whether this role serves both the person and the organization.

What Is Healthy F.I.T.? The Framework Inside Every Coaching Conversation

Healthy F.I.T. is the evaluation framework that gives Coaching Conversations their structure. The “Healthy” part covers values alignment. The “F.I.T.” part covers the three dimensions that determine whether a role is truly serving both the person and the organization.

Healthy = Values Alignment

Do they live your core values, not just agree with them in theory? This is the non-negotiable foundation. Both the leader and the team member rate values alignment on a 1–4 scale. When those scores match, you’ve got confirmation. When they don’t, you’ve got the most important conversation you could be having.

The team member isn’t just being graded here. They’re reflecting on their own alignment. That reflection alone changes the dynamic. It moves values from something the company enforces to something the individual owns. And for the producer who’s never asked this question? It opens a door they didn’t know existed. For the friend who’s felt it but never had the language? It gives them a framework to act on what they’ve sensed.

F = Fuel

Does this role align with their unique genius, their strengths, passions, and where they naturally come alive? When someone is fueled by their work, they bring discretionary effort. They solve problems before you know they exist. When they’re not, they’re going through the motions.

Here’s the thing a leader can’t always see from the outside: whether someone is fueled or quietly running on fumes. That’s why Fuel isn’t just a leader’s assessment. It’s a question we put directly to the team member: Does your role right now fuel your unique genius? When you give someone the language to answer that honestly, you’re giving them permission to advocate for themselves, and giving yourself the chance to do something about it before it’s too late.

I = Impact

Can they make a real, measurable contribution in this role? Impact isn’t about being busy. It’s about moving the needle on what matters, your KPIs, your mission, your team’s ability to execute.

Someone can be a great human and a great culture fit but not wired to create impact in the specific seat they’re in. And often, they know it. They feel it in the gap between how hard they’re working and how little seems to move. Impact is a question for the leader and the team member, because both perspectives matter. A leader might see strong output where the person feels like they’re fighting upstream. Or a leader might see stagnation where the person sees a system problem, not a people problem. You need both views to get the real picture.

T = Timely

Is now the right time, for them and for the organization? This is the dimension most frameworks completely ignore. Someone might be a perfect fit in 18 months but not today. Or they were the perfect fit two years ago but have since outgrown the role.

Timely is perhaps the most personal of the three, because it touches on life stage, career trajectory, and seasons that only the individual fully understands. By making Timely an explicit part of the conversation, you give people the dignity of being seen as whole humans, not just employees filling a function. And sometimes the most empowering answer is: this role was right for me, and now something else is. That’s not a failure. That’s a healthy transition that you caught early enough to plan for.

Why Engagement Has to Be a Dialogue, Not a Directive

Most organizations treat engagement like a top-down process. Leaders survey their teams. Leaders analyze the data. Leaders decide what to do about it. The team members are subjects of the study, not participants in it.

But engagement isn’t something you do to people. It’s something you create with them. And that requires three things most organizations haven’t built:

• Language. People need words for what they’re experiencing. “I feel burned out” is vague. “This role doesn’t fuel my unique genius” is specific, actionable, and doesn’t carry the same stigma. When you give your team the vocabulary of Fuel, Impact, and Timely, you give them a way to articulate what they need without it feeling like a complaint.
• Space. A quarterly Coaching Conversation is a protected space where the team member isn’t just answering questions, they’re bringing their own self-assessment to the table. They’ve rated themselves on values. They’ve answered the F.I.T. questions. They’ve reflected on their own growth goals. The conversation starts from a place of mutuality, not evaluation.
• Invitation. Most people will not volunteer that they’re struggling, disengaged, or in the wrong seat, unless they’re explicitly invited to by someone they feel they can trust. Coaching Conversations are that invitation. They say: we want to know how you’re really doing, and we’ve built a structure that makes it safe to tell us.

This is what closes the gap for both types of leaders. The producer gets a structure that naturally draws out the human side of the conversation, without having to become someone they’re not. The friend gets a structure that naturally introduces clarity, standards, and honest feedback, without sacrificing the warmth that makes them effective. Neither leader has to abandon their strengths. The system fills in what’s missing.

What Happens When You Build a System Around Your Best Intentions

When leadership teams commit to quarterly Coaching Conversations as a system, not a nice-to-have, but a built-in part of how the organization runs, three things tend to happen:

• You catch misalignment early, from both sides. Sometimes the leader sees it first. Sometimes the team member does. The point is, when you’re having this conversation every 90 days, nobody is caught off guard. The signals surface while there’s still time to act on them. You’re having the stay interview Adam Grant talks about, not because you remembered to, but because your system made it happen.
• People take ownership of their own engagement. When someone has the language and the invitation to assess their own Fuel, Impact, and Timely, engagement stops being something the company is responsible for and becomes something the person co-owns. You move from “why aren’t my people engaged?” to “what do you need to be fully engaged, and how can we get there together?”
• Your culture becomes self-reinforcing. When your team sees that values alignment is measured, discussed, and acted on, not just printed on a wall, they start holding themselves and each other to a higher standard. Culture stops being aspirational and starts being operational. And because the conversation is two-way, people don’t just comply with the culture. They carry it.

How to Start Using Coaching Conversations and Healthy F.I.T. with Your Team

You don’t need to overhaul your entire people strategy. You need to build a simple, repeatable system and commit to it. Here’s how:

1. Define what “Healthy” looks like for your team. Get crystal clear on your core values and what it actually looks like to live them. Not dictionary definitions, real, behavioral descriptions your team can see themselves in use in real decision making.
2. Build F.I.T. descriptors for each role. Before you hire or evaluate anyone, identify 2–3 attributes for each F.I.T. category. What would Fuel look like for someone in this seat? What does Impact mean for this specific function? What makes the timing right?
3. Introduce the Personal Road Map. Before your first Coaching Conversation, have each team member fill out their Personal Road Map, their personal mission, their craft, passion, and unique genius, their growth goals, and their self-assessment on values and F.I.T. This is what makes the conversation mutual. They’re not walking in to be evaluated. They’re walking in with their own perspective already articulated.
4. Put Coaching Conversations on the calendar, now. Not “when things slow down.” Not “next quarter.” Now. Schedule 60 minutes per team member, once per quarter, and treat it like you’d treat a board meeting or a quarterly revenue review. The system only works if it’s non-negotiable. In between, hold brief weekly one-on-ones with just two questions: What are you working on? How can I support you?
5. Use it in hiring too. Structure your interview process around values alignment and F.I.T. scoring. Use behavioral questions, not hypotheticals, to assess each dimension. The same language you use internally becomes how you evaluate new candidates, which means culture starts before day one.
6. Act on what you find, together. A “no” on any F.I.T. dimension isn’t automatically a fireable offense. It’s a conversation. Maybe it’s coaching. Maybe it’s a role change. Maybe it’s a timeline. Maybe the most dignifying thing you can do is help someone transition to a place where they can thrive. But the key is: you’re making that decision with the person, not about them.

Key Takeaways

• Every leader has blind spots. Producers default to tasks and results. Friends default to care and encouragement. Both are real strengths, and both create blind spots without a system.
• Great intentions aren’t enough. Without a repeatable practice, people conversations get lost in the shuffle. Coaching Conversations build that practice into your operating rhythm.
• Evaluation should be mutual, not top-down. The person in the seat has critical insight into whether a role is working. Give them the language, the space, and the invitation to share it.
• Engagement is a dialogue. Coaching Conversations create the structure for that dialogue every 90 days, so you’re having stay interviews, not exit interviews.
• Values alignment is non-negotiable. Culture is what people do when you’re not in the room. The people you hire, keep, promote, and let go are the loudest statement you make about what you actually value.
• Download the Healthy F.I.T. guide to get the full interview checklist, rubric, onboarding framework, Coaching Conversation guide, and Personal Road Map template.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the difference between a Coaching Conversation and a performance review?

A performance review is typically a leader’s annual assessment of an employee’s output. A Coaching Conversation is a quarterly, mutual dialogue where both the leader and the team member bring their own assessments of values alignment, Fuel, Impact, and Timely to the table. It’s designed to surface what’s working and what isn’t, from both perspectives, while there’s still time to act on it.

I’m more of a “producer” leader. Will this feel unnatural to me?

It might feel different at first, but it won’t feel fake. The structure of a Coaching Conversation gives you a clear agenda, a rubric, and a defined outcome, which is exactly how you already like to operate. The difference is that the agenda includes the person, not just their performance. Most producers find that having a framework for the “people side” actually makes them more comfortable with it, not less.If it feels awkward for you, maybe even put it out there! Lead with vulnerability and they will likely try to meet you there.

I’m more of a “friend” leader. Will this feel too rigid?

Not if you see it for what it is: a way to take the care you already have and pair it with the clarity your people deserve. There is dignity for every person on your team in giving them feedback that helps them grow. The structure doesn’t replace your warmth, it gives your warmth a direction. You’ll still be the leader who remembers birthdays. You’ll just also be the leader who gives honest, specific feedback because you have a framework that makes it feel natural.

What does F.I.T. stand for?

• Fuel: Does this role align with their strengths, passions, and unique genius?

• Impact: Can they create significant, positive impact in this seat?

• Timely: Is now the right time, for them and for the organization? All three are evaluated by the leader and the team member independently, then discussed together.

We believe in doing this, but it keeps getting pushed off. How do we make it stick?

You’re not alone, this is the single most common challenge we hear. The answer is to treat Coaching Conversations like any other non-negotiable business rhythm. Schedule them at the beginning of each quarter, put them on the calendar before anything else, and protect them the way you’d protect a quarterly financial review. Your people deserve the same consistency. The system works when you build it into your operating cadence, not when you try to squeeze it in around everything else.

What if the team member and the leader disagree on a F.I.T. score?

That’s the point. The disagreement is the conversation. If a leader marks Fuel as a “yes” but the team member says “no,” you’ve just uncovered something critical that would have stayed hidden in a traditional review. The framework is designed to surface these gaps so you can address them proactively.

How is this different from a typical engagement survey?

Engagement surveys collect anonymous, aggregated data. Coaching Conversations are personal, named, and relational. The team member isn’t filling out a form that disappears into an HR system, they’re sitting across from their leader, sharing how they rated themselves, and hearing how their leader sees them. That’s what creates real accountability and real trust.

Ready to Build a System That Supports Your Best Intentions?

You already care about your people. That was never the question. The question is whether you have a system that ensures your care actually reaches them, consistently, not just when you have the bandwidth. Whether you’re a producer learning to see the person behind the performance, or a friend learning to pair care with clarity, the system meets you where you are.

The Healthy F.I.T. framework is one of the core tools inside the System & Soul operating system. If you’re a leadership team that wants to build a business where the right people are in the right seats and actually thriving, and where those people have a voice in whether the seat is right for them, we’d love to help.

Download the Healthy F.I.T. Guide to get started, or reach out to learn how System & Soul can help your team implement Coaching Conversations and the full set of tools designed to grow healthy, high-performing organizations.